Today I Like Spaceships

jennifer — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 06:55:59 +0000

oh, sometimes! sometimes i want to make these feelings into a paint and pour it all over everyone

birthday

jennifer — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 15:58:58 +0000

last night i was at a concert and all the sudden i got really sad thinking about aaron and then realized he would be 21 today and how cool it would have been to send him a b-day card from the land of his people and oh man that kills and keeps killing

i wanted to stay 18 forever but you can’t and anyway it’s good to count the years you’ve lived through since the world ended, because it didn’t, and it’s still moving along, just like you, and though it is beautiful it is also calculated, just like you, and although sometimes your hands seem incredibly small there are so many things, like counting or buying a 21st birthday drink or even just waving goodbye, that you can do with them, so.

jennifer — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 10:44:19 +0000

hey blog readers you can find my travel blog at www.ochjagska.blogspot.com

switch in platforms was a long time coming, and i gotta admit i like blogger better

see ya there!

i bought my first lotto ticket yesterday and lost

jennifer — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 19:57:31 +0000

digging in my bag for a quarter. purchased at the o’hare oasis out of a lotto ticket vending machine. $1 only. and these are how i spend my nights in america. losing.

something a little exhausted

jennifer — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 07:07:15 +0000

nothing to complain about, nothing to speak of. all i think about is coffee, and i bought some decaf to drink at night while i watch taped episodes of “dead like me”. must i admit addiction to caffeine and television? what’s the problem there? caffeine forever, TV only this week.

in preparation to leave the country, (which, honest to god, i feel like i’ve been talking about FOREVER and it will never even happen) I have been alarmingly active in seeing people i used to know. catching up with friends affirms the image of myself that i have built. twist that all you want, i am too tired to know what it means. tired, yea! from lounging in the sun and typing all day! and to think i went grocery shopping as well! but in the next ten days (because that’s all it is) i’ll be seeing all the important people and learning about their lives and hinting at mine.

coffee talks are such a tease. it’s like we’re all writers, then.

new discoveries are null, i’m not bored but i’d say i’m boring.

silly switch/ idk

jennifer — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 06:23:13 +0000

me i dunno i guess i get pretty loopy when there’s not much else around here to do: clean, sleep, tVvvVvV, go to target/grocery stores. update twitter. play basketball. nothing at all to do, think, etc:

-go to the bank “hi i need a credit card” “we don’t actually offer credit cards”

-take my old clothes to salvation army “yo eddie get up front and take these donations”

-get donuts “i don’t actually know what that one is”

-cut my finger on a huge shard of glass i kept in my room from when i broke my window, mickey mouse band-aid

-make my bath too hot and think i’ll faint

-put ovaltine powder on my peanut butter panda puff cereal

-drive up and down the street

-get mad at my dog because doesn’t have a tv show and isn’t even trying

-lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling thinking “what the hell am i gonna do”

everyone’s at lollapalooza and i’m way over that.

the internet/paper letters/dreams

jennifer — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 06:11:57 +0000

sometimes when i get unfollowed on twitter i get really mad because it tricks me into thinking i am not funny. and also in real life (because i have one of those, too, kind of) when people are rude to me or do not like me i get sort of bad feeling. because naturally i care and think about these things and consider what people think of me, but in the end my ego is probably big enough for me and all the people that do not think i am funny so i just become mad that i was tricked into caring about something silly and stupid. i occupy too much space on the internet, most likely, but that’s probably true for many people. ah well.

so. i have successfully cleaned my college room, the room at my father’s house, and am now tackling the room that i’ve spent the most time in in the last 10 years. the room in my mom’s house has stored the most memories (predating this blog, predating dating… many weird things).

something that made me thankful for my tendency to save all things was the rediscovery of old letters. amidst the debris of my room, coffee stained and legs asleep beneath me, i found myself really very thankful for the incredible friends and family i have had. i do not know if perhaps my character compels people to tell me the truth about what they think or if maybe i have simply managed to locate a number of intelligent and thoughtful (because those two things are entirely different) and forthcoming individuals. it feels terrific to have evidence that you are important to people. and, of course, there were two lost letters from my lost friend and those caused me the expected grief but were also comforting. so he loved me, i needed to see it. “love” written in a deceased person’s handwriting has a different meaning, i feel like. but don’t ask me what it is.

what else? had a dream i was at the airport and my parents didn’t say goodbye to me. went to a vending machine that had a rotary dial instead of buttons. wanted a diet coke but all they had was pepsi. a korean kid came up and tried to help me, got me a wild cherry pepsi, which i would never ever drink.

the rain falls and falls, nightlightning. i dunno.

another waspy instance

jennifer — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 22:05:59 +0000

today i made some strong coffee and the weather didn’t make me miserable when i went outside so i put two and two together and said to myself “i’ll drink this outside”. that is something i like doing. so with my coffee i grabbed infinite jest, a book i tried reading last summer and decided to start over again today, and i went outside. and then i remembered i have some anna’s brand pepperkakor (gingerbread cookies) which are delicious when dipped in coffee, so i grabbed three of those. and made my way onto my dad’s deck, scene of my last wasp sighting.

i hadn’t been on the deck in a while, i don’t think anyone had.

i selected the chair that was slightly in the shade, and set down my coffee (well, what remained after i sploshed half of it on myself and the ground trying to close the back door with hands full) and my book, and my cookies. i moved the foot stool a little closer and sat down. and, then, and you knew it was coming, i went to dip a cookie in my coffee but was distracted as a swarm of wasps closed in on me. a few zipped near my face and some settled on my legs and my first guess was that they were interested in my cookies so i threw them in the grass far away. when they didn’t fall for that, i began swatting at their dangly little bodies but realized they’d probably attack me so i jumped up, knocking the rest of my coffee over, and ran off the deck. the chair i’d just been sitting in was surrounded by about twenty of the little things, and i watched as they calmed and settled down on it, a couple on the arms and the rest scattered on the footstool, guarding. i checked the chair from a different angle and saw, clear as day, the giant nest hiding underneath it. so i ran in to tell my dad. before i could tell him, of course, he made a joke about it being too hot for me/ enough time away from the computer for today/ shut the back door the air conditioning is escaping! etc. and then i said DAD THERE’S A STUPID WASP NEST UNDER THE STUPID CHAIR SAVE ME AND GET MY COFFEE MUG BACK FROM THEM and he did what any dad would do and got his electric flyswatter (courtesy of harbor freight tools) and a can of wasp spray.

outside, i stood fifteen feet away as i watched my dad fight the wasps: the spray-holding arm outstretched and the flyswatter acting as a shield.

what i want to eat tomorrow morning

jennifer — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 06:21:33 +0000

i am having a hard time falling asleep as has been the case the last few nights (it all started right around when i stopped being exhausted from playing basketball or too much drinkin…hm) and i keep thinking about what i want to eat for breakfast tomorrow, providing i fall asleep and wake up ever again. so what i am thinking about is scrambled eggs and hashbrowns with salsa and red pepper and avocado pieces and fresh cilantro, which is what i made today, and it was really good. but i also got some really yummy raisin walnut pumpernickel bread from the farmers market, so what if i had scrambled eggs and hashbrowns with fresh dill and pumpernickel toast? or if i did scrambled eggs with swiss cheese on pumpernickel bread? i never really liked eggs too much but they are good for me who is always low on protein and you can easily cover up the taste and consistency with potatoes or salsa. i’ve been kind of binge eating these last few nights, we bought corn at the farmers market so i had three whole cobs and then made chocolate cookies and also ate chips which i guess doesn’t seem like that much but for someone who doesn’t eat all that much and especially all that much indigestable (for yrs truly who has zillions of gastrointestinal tissue-free issues) it has been a wild ride. laying in bed wishing my stomach would talk out its problems instead of acting this way. kinda immature.

sometimes when i call myself an idiot

jennifer — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 06:03:25 +0000

i am right.

today i went to wicker park fest to see wavves. i didn’t want to drive all the way to the city, and i also didn’t want to take two trains, so i drove to the blue line park n ride at cumberland. everything was fun and jolly and then i drank a lil too much and got kicked and punched and ruined my shoes in something close to a moshpit. on the train back to my car i realized i didn’t have my keys but i tried to remain calm. i walked back to my car trying not to freak out, you know, because what good does that do, and then i opened the door (my car is never locked) and there were my keys, still in the ignition, with the radio still playing. after about 5 hours of sitting in the parking deck, my car had not died or been stolen, and my keys were not lost in a crowd of thousands of people. in a situation like that am i supposed to feel lucky? or like a complete fucking moron? maybe both. and the worst part is that it’s not even close to the first time i’ve left my keys in the ignition. oopsie daisy.

when i got back to my zip code i went to the grocery store and bought myself a lactose free mac and cheese dinner thing to enjoy with some gatorade rain while i watched tv in sweatpants. sometime’s life’s okay.